Raphael's Tail
by Asiera
Summary: The only thing in this world or the next that can drive Raph crazier than Mikey can has returned! Funny oneshot.


Disclaimer: I do not in any way own the TMNT or any related materials.

_**Raphael's Tail...**_

**The Return of "it"**

It was another hot summer's day in the Big Apple and even in the damp sewers beneath, it was uncomfortably warm. Crime had been pretty slow lately due to the unexpected heat wave, giving the Turtles nothing better to do than lounge around the lair. Donatello was barely working, Michelangelo was using the fridge as a air conditioner, Raphael was half asleep on the couch, and Leonardo wasn't even practicing.

Raph sighed. It looked as if today was going to be just as slow and boring as yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that... The strange boom like noise that originated from the kitchen came almost as a relief. Any escape from this doldrum was like a heaven sent for Raph. He hated these hot days and maybe there was some bad guy just waiting to take away his frustration.

Alas no criminal needed a butt-kickin' but it looked as though Don might want to strangle Mikey. "Michelangelo! What the shell were you doing in here!?"

Raph looked around the room curiously. What _had_ he been doing? It looked like he had opened a tanning salon and was using the fridge to cool himself off. But that didn't explain why there was kitty litter and water all over the floor, or why both the fridge and the microwave were smoking, obviously fried.

Mikey stood up, a surprised expression on his face as he took in what _used_ to be the kitchen. "Dude, major wipe out!" Then he turned his attention to his not so happy brothers. "Well it _was_ a good idea."

"What was a good idea Mikey?" asked Don. "How did you manage to destroy the kitchen?"

"I was just tryin' to escape this heat and I thought, hey, what better way to do that than the beach?"

"Mikey, please tell me you didn't," said Leo, a worried look on his face.

Mikey nodded, grinning. "You bet I did dude! I used Don's work lamps for the sun, the fridge and that fan for a cool sea breeze, this weird gritty stuff for sand..."

"Mike, ya do realize that stuff is kitty-litter right?"

"Oh... that would be why it smelled so funny... Anyways as I was sayin'..."

"Oh man, Sensei is going to be furious!" muttered Don.

"...then I hooked up some of my fave beach toons..."

"What did ya expect? He _is_ Mikey after all," retorted Raph.

"...stared cookin' some pizza cuz I was hungry..."

"I would have expected a _little_ more self control," admonished the second eldest.

"...and then I added the water, but I guess I forgot that water and electronics don't mix. Heh, musta' slipped my mind."

Don opened his mouth, clearly intending to scold Mikey some more but was interrupted by the microwave, which sparked dangerously again and sent the entire lair into darkness.

"MIKEY!"

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After Leo had given Mikey a talking to, the Turtles went about fixing the damage to the lair, and when I say the Turtles, I mean Donatello.

"Why is it always _me_ who has to fix everything?" Muttered Don as he and Raph dragged the fridge to his work bench.

"Cuz your the only one who knows how ta fix anythin' around here—unless ya count hittin' it as fixin' it."

"Ha ha Raph," returned Don sarcastically. "If that was the case then you could take over for me."

They set the fridge down and Raph stubbed his toe on something in the dark. "Ow!"

Don sighed. "Look, genius or not, I can't fix anything in this darkness. So I'll go fix the power problem and you stay here and make sure that Mikey stays away from my lab."

Raph sat down on Don's chair. "Okay. Whateva' ya say."

Don stuck his head back in. "Oh and Raph?"

"Hmm."

"Don't touch anything."

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Mikey didn't try to get into Don's lab and, despite the excitement of earlier, the hours that followed Don's departure were uneventful. Raph was just about to fall asleep when a loud humming noise pulled him from his daze.

"Wha..."

There was a bright glow coming from the corner of the room. _Don said not ta touch anythin', but maybe Mikey decided ta sneak in here. Hmmm...better check it out... _Raph got out of the chair and crossed the room, "Mike? Mike if your in here, you're in trouble. Don said ta stay outta... Whoa!"

It was not Mikey that was causing the humming and the light, it was Don's old portal generator. That wasn't the problem though, the _problem_ was what the portal was showing. Something Raph never wanted to see again: _IT. _And _IT _was looking at him now, its already large eyes bugging out of its head.

"Aww Shell" was the only reaction Raph could manage before it was through the portal and once again, a microwave sized problem in his life.

The Little Devil was relentless: biting, scratching, hitting, kicking, ext... You wouldn't know it from his size, but that little thing packed a punch! It was able to throw Raph across the room several times into a lot of expensive lab work. Raph was getting pretty mad by now and was by no means not fighting back. He was causing just as much damage as the Little Devil was. But the creature was too fast and hardly any of his attacks made contact with it's red pebbly skin, instead they just went into destroying Don's lab.

Suddenly the lights flashed on and just as quickly as it had appeared...it vanished. "Yeah, you better run! That's what happens when ya mess with Raphael!"

"Raph, I heard noises is everything all—eep." Don let out a little squeak of dismay and horror as he saw what was left of his lab. Most everything was destroyed and everything else was wrecked. Worst of all Raph was standing in the middle of it, all looking very much to Don as if he had been caught red-handed.

"Oh boy."

"I...I...I..."

"Don I can explain, just, just calm down, okay? The reason is actually very simple..." The rest all came out in a rush because Raph was desperately trying to explain himself to Don. "Remember-that-monster-we-fought-when-that-Winters-guy-was-tryin'-ta-take-over-the-world-well-actually-he-wasn't-he-was-tryin'-ta-stop-it-but-that's-not-the-point. There-was-this-one-I-fought-in-a-dinner-an-it-was-little-an-red-an-it-had-these-big-bug-eyes-an-it's-really-really-strong-even-though-it's-tiny-an-your-portal-generator-doohickey-was-on-musta-happened-when-the-power-surge-hit-anyway-I-was-kinda-half-asleep-an-then-there-was-this-hummin'-that-was-your-portal-generator. I-went-over-ta-check-it-out-cuz-I-thought-it-was-Mikey-but-it-wasn't-it-was-that-thing-it-was-in-the-portal-an-it-saw-me-an-it-came-an-it-bit-an-it-scratched-an-it-destroyed-an-then-then-I-beat-it-an-the-lights-came-on-an-it-disappeared-so-it's-somewhere-in-the-Lair-just-waitin'-ta-strike-again-an-we-gotta-find-it-an-kill-it-an-send-it-back-ta-whereva'-it-came-from-before-it's-too-late," Explained Raph. Glad that he was finally able to breath again. "An that's what happened ta your lab. So really, if ya think about it, I _saved_ it."

Don just stared at him for a while, "RAPH!! LEO! LEO! Come quick! Raph I'm gonna _kill_ you!"

Leo came running down the stairs quickly followed by Mikey "What's the problem? Don why are you... Oh my gosh." Leo, and surprisingly Mikey, were speechless.

Don pointed an accusing finger in Raph's direction, "He _destroyed_ my lab!"

Leo looked blankly from what used to be Don's lab to Raph.

"I did not—it-it was that Little Devil!"

"And now he's making up stories about it! Leo he _obliterated_ everything, Punish him... _Severely_!"

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Raph was in a lot of trouble. Boy was Raph in a lot of trouble. No one had believed him and worst of all, the Little Devil—the one thing that could prove his innocence—was nowhere to be found. So basically Raph was confined to his room until that little monster showed its ugly little head or until a week had passed, not to mention that Don probably would never speak to him again.

Raph rolled over on his bed, "Stupid little #%&#!" As if on cue Raph heard a loud thump somewhere above his head. It was pitch black but he didn't need any light to know what that sound came from. Raph leaped to his feet and slammed on the light. He gazed around the room but noticed nothing out of the ordinary. But then he heard it again. "Show yourself! I'll show you what happens when ya play games with me!"

"Raph what are you doing in there?"

"Leo it's back. It's in the walls!"

"Raph give it up, it's late."

"Seriously Leo, it's _in_ here!"

"Go to bed Raph."

"But!"

"Raph, Go To Bed! And turn that light out."

Raph was plagued throughout the night by the thumps that he _knew_ were the sound of his mortal enemy...

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At last, a week was up and things were pretty much back to normal. Don had nearly forgiven Raph and they hadn't seen hide nor hair of that little beast. Leo, Don, and Raph were sitting down to breakfast—breakfast that Mikey had failed to pick up from the local pizza place yet. Finally the door opened and they heard Mikey's approaching footsteps. "Sorry it took so long dudes but look who followed me home!"

It couldn't be...but it was the same red skin, the same buggy eyes, the same devilish grin... _**IT**_ had returned!

"So, can we keep him?"

**TMNTTMNTTMNT**

Another hilarious adventure involving our favorite turtles! Hope you liked! Please R&R and feel free to give concrit.


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